The Path of Change

Self Acceptance
February 13, 2018
Dealing with change and uncertainty
January 29, 2019

The path towards change

Change is a constant in all of our lives. Sometimes we make change happen and they’re wonderful things that we’re excited about. And sometimes change happens when we least expect it and at first they may be the last thing that we want. It has felt like a continuous stream of change for me since last year. I’m sure my life has always contained change but the pace of it has seemed to have sped up recently. Has this been the same for you?

I’ve been living in Bath for a good few months now and it has been a wonderful experience so far. When I first made the decision to move to Bath I was very excited about moving out to a quieter city than London. However when the practicalities starting coming together I began to get fearful. I had only just put my flat on the market to be let when within a week, a tenant had been secured for the flat and I had found a place to live in Bath. I couldn’t imagine things moving any more quickly and I started to panic.

Although it was a change that I wanted I felt that things were coming together too fast and almost without my active participation. I remember calling a friend in fear mode and telling her I thought I was making a mistake. Thankfully she knew me well and helped to be the voice of reason. Sometimes just before you’re onto something wonderful but unknown, fear sets in and you want to run back to the safety and comfort of the known even though it doesn’t fit anymore.

Many years ago I read a book by Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. She mentioned that throughout change and challenges and life in general, we will feel fear about entering into a new situation. And we might think that we just need to wait for the fear to disappear before we take those steps that we need to. However the fear doesn’t go away until we actually face it, feel it and take those steps forward. So in my own situation if I had waited until I was no longer feeling fearful about moving to Bath I would probably have been waiting a long time.

I’m pleased that I took the plunge into the unknown and have had many interesting and exciting experiences since then. I’ve met some great people and made wonderful connections. Yes it’s quite possible that things could have turned out differently and the experiences may not have been as good as they were. However I believe if that had been the case then I would still be taking away some valuable experiences and learnings with me.

And now I’ll be onto my next adventure soon where I’ll be travelling for a few months and not surprisingly I’m feeling the same excitement and fear and anxiety. Having been through this cycle many times I’m now familiar with these feelings but I still need to remember to be kind and gentle to myself and to give myself time to work my way through them. I know that the fear and anxiety will be there until I actually start travelling and will probably continue throughout. It’s just a matter of deciphering whether I’m truly in danger or if it’s because I’m doing something new and as a result it will feel scary at first.

Do you have any change, challenges, new beginnings that you have been putting off? How would it feel to take one of these on? How will you feel after having faced this change, challenge or new beginning? I encourage you to choose one new thing and ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. Sometimes we fear change or something new because we are afraid of the outcome not meeting our expectations but if we can let go of these and instead focus on the experiences that we will have, this can help to lessen the fear of taking the first step. There is no right or wrong way in life and I truly believe that we get what we need even though it may not necessarily be what we initially wanted.

When I look back on my life, I can see that everything has worked out pretty perfectly even though at the time I had wished for it to be different. However I’ve had more wonderful surprises than I could have imagined and for that I am grateful. I hope you choose something new to bring into your life and it adds to your life in an amazing way. If so, I would love to hear about it!

Julie Lee
I'm a holistic coach and I love helping people find happiness and contentment within by learning to love and accept themselves.

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